LaVieve

Sitting in the park staring vaguely at my magazine so many thoughts run through my head. About the past, present and future. I realize I haven’t really done that much with my life. I’ve given up on so many things and I’ve neglected myself for so long it’s hard to keep on going the way I am. Than I try and think of all the positives in my life. I have a father who loves me and would do anything to protect me. He is my rock my bestfriend and my daddy. I have a roof over my head, money in my bank and clothes on my back. I’m doing it 300 times better than most of the rest of the world. Than why the hell do I feel this way. Is it just another shitty day or is there something I’m missing? I miss the other half of me. She my bestfriend and she live 7 hours away from me I know it’s kinda lame to say this but she’s my zen she’s the other piece of my puzzle and my hero. I look up to her dearly. We are complete opposite but somehow it just works I don’t know how or why. It just does. I don’t have anyone else in this word who I can go up and and say I’m having the worst day possible can you help me. It’s just not possible. I know 7 hours isn’t that far away but it’s days like today where I just need to sit down and talk to her and vent which make it seem like she’s in another universe. We try and see eachother as much as we can and usually she comes and sees me because I’m trying to save as much as I can to move into my own house, so saving as much as I can means I can’t go and see her. Usually we only get to see eachother every 4 or 5 months but I got to see her 2 and a half months ago and it felt like nothing had changed. Sometimes I wish that life would just be easy for a couple of months or even a year so I can do what I want when I want and not have to worry about these obligations. The answer to my happiness today was sitting in the sun and reading and chatting to my bestfriend on the phone.
Vent done.